Throwing A Punch Does Not Make You A Man

As is the case with any breaking story, no one knows all of the details right away. Over time, new information has been brought to light, and we inevitably learn shocking new things about the severity of this situation. When I first heard the Jonathan Martin/Richie Incognito story, my initial reaction was shock. Not shock that this had occurred, but shock that a grown man playing for a professional football team stormed out of team facilities because he was being bullied. It seemed like something that would happen on a school playground, not in the NFL. Then I thought about it a little more. It must have taken an insane amount of courage to finally stand up and say “enough is enough” and remove yourself from the situation, especially as a male in a profession that requires you to be one of the toughest, strongest people in society. He would be seen as a wimp and a coward when all he wanted to do was play the sport he loved without fear of being harassed every single day.

Like I said, no one knew most of the details we know now when the story first broke. There are still many things we do not yet know. However, I was a little disturbed when I watched this video clip of ex-NFL players and commentators discussing this issue on TV. How could they possibly be blaming Martin? Not only were commentators finding fault in Martin, but his own teammates cast doubt on his credibility, and openly and overwhelmingly supported his aggressor. They’re not sure if they want him back on the team. His own coach told him to be more aggressive and physical about the situation.

Clearly there is something wrong with the way society is viewing this situation, and it speaks to a much larger issue. There are many problems with the way we view victims of bullying in this society, but the way we view and discuss adult and/or male victims of bullying is abhorrent.

Why is it so unfathomable that being made fun of and taken advantage of to no end, even as an adult, can be detrimental to a person? Why does a person have to have something mentally wrong with them if they’re bullied? Why does a man have to physically fight an aggressor to prove himself and his worth, when we teach children to not physically fight back when bullied?

A number of people have started speaking up about the way we look at bullying in this culture, but this is only the beginning. In order to effectively address bullying, we need to address the ways in which we allow, even encourage, bullying to happen. Part of that includes addressing the differences in our treatment of adult and child bullies and bullying victims. If we teach our children to handle situations in a certain manner, then we should not turn around and expect adults to act in the complete opposite manner. It should not be expected that Martin fight back or hit his bully, just because he’s an adult, just because he’s a man, or just because he’s a football player. Jonathan Martin did the right thing when he walked out of that facility, and we can only hope he set an example for others to follow.

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Update: For context, here is a great timeline of the events surrounding this situation.

Why Everyone Should Study The Bible

I am not a very religious person. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, but spent my childhood summers going to a Baptist church when I would visit my grandmother. Since my childhood, religion has come in and out of my life, but hasn’t really been that important to me. In fact, I probably follow sports more religiously than any established form of worship.

However, this semester I signed up for my first religion class. It is called “The World of the Hebrew Bible” and we study the Old Testament for a semester. It isn’t the class I’ve enjoyed the most in college, but I think it is the smartest class decision I’ve made since I came to college. In this class I have learned things I never knew, I have learned things that I thought were true are not,  I have learned that things I was told were lies are not, and I have learned all of this from only one testament. I have also found that my arguments both for and against religion have become more informed and more accurate.

In treating the bible like literature as opposed to this sacred text that I must worship and live my life by, I have been able to appreciate it more. The bible is full of contradictions that I have had highlighted to me by both sides of my family without them even realizing it. I have always wondered how one religion could have the date of Jesus’ birth as such a central part of their religion, when a different one just says “eh, we’ve deduced he was not born in December, but it doesn’t really matter much”. It always bothered me immensely that there was such a large contradiction stemming from one body of text, but one of the things I have learned in my time studying the bible is that it is full of those contradictions on purpose, and it is our job to figure out what that purpose is, and what it means to us. Though there is much more I could learn about the bible, including an entire other testament, it has been really helpful for me to study what little I have of it objectively.

In today’s society, religious zealots are so quick to defend a text that most of them don’t fully understand, and anti-religious zealots are equally as quick to condemn it. I’m not saying educating ourselves on the bible is going to solve all of our differences. People are always going to believe whatever they want to believe, but it can lead to much more productive discussions and debates than the “god hates fags” and “at least I don’t listen to a priest that preys on little boys” arguments that we cannot seem to escape.

Educating ourselves on a text that so many people worship is also necessary because no one should blindly worship anything. So often I talk to religious people who know very little about their religion and what they supposedly believe in, but will proudly proclaim their faith to me. On the flip side, so many people blindly hate religious texts and think they are justified in this because they read one reddit post, but actually know very little about what it is they claim to have so much hatred for.

The bible is also one of the most interesting history lessons you can get. One of the best things about studying the Bible is that you don’t have to take quizzes with questions like “When was the War of 1812?” or “How long did the Hundred Years War last?”, but you learn so many interesting lessons about ancient history and how different civilizations were connected that you probably fell asleep for in high school.

The bible is more than just a religious text. It is a historical document and one of the single most intriguing books of literature ever created. If we give all the great literary classics the time of day, then we owe it to ourselves to sit down and crack open perhaps the greatest of them all.